Posts Tagged ‘relationship’

The Importance of Fatherhood

Written by buzz. Posted in Health

Written by: Selena DiGiovanni

This week, Obama gave his annual State of the Union Address. He carefully presented a plan to help this country grow and change. But one of the most underrated statements which President Obama made was about strong families and the importance of fathers.

“…And we’ll work to strengthen families by removing the financial deterrents to marriage for low-income couples and do more to encourage fatherhood, because what makes you a man isn’t the ability to conceive a child, it’s having the courage to raise one,” said Obama.

We have always known that fathers are important in our children’s lives, but our presidents have never made it a priority to call fathers back to their children.  We have never been told by our president that fathers need to form stronger bonds with our children. That is because, until recently, we have not known the true extent of the importance of fathers.

Father and baby bond.

Spending time with your children can make a world of difference.

In the past, several studies have been published which acknowledge that living in a strong home as a child leads to stronger lives in general. However, recent studies have gone into more depth, saying that, in order to have a strong foundation, both parents should be present in a child’s day to day life.

While it may seen like a minor difference, having a father in the home makes a tremendous difference to a child’s life. Studies conducted in Sweden have shown that children, both male and female, who have an active relationship with their father are likely to reap the benefits of that relationship. Benefits include fewer behavioral problems, as well as better social relationships with both genders.

“Long-term benefits included women who had better relationships with partners and a greater sense of mental and physical well-being at the age of 33 if they had a good relationship with their father at 16,” said Dr. Anna Sarkadi of the Department of Women’s and Children’s Health at Uppsala University in Sweden.

In 2011, 27% of children (ages 0-17) in the US were living in one parent households. Of that 27%, approximately 75% of children were living in single mother households. That means that about 20.25% of children in the US are living without a father figure in their life. This number is higher than it has ever been, and in such stressful and tumultuous times, the benefits of having a loving father has never been more important.

A father reads to his son.

Connecting with your children is incredibly important.

While the mere presence of a father is not enough, building a strong relationship between children and their fathers is incredibly simple. Children simply require a loving bond with their father in order to form a lasting relationship. Fathers are strongly encouraged to engage their children emotionally and emotional moments as a time for learning on both sides. What you do in the short term can mean a world of difference for your children.

The men in our nation have been called upon to show courage. If you have the courage, love your children.

To Be Monogamous or Not?

Written by buzz. Posted in Love

Written by: Jill Heagerty

I’ve heard both sides: we’re biologically meant to mate with many partners and that monogamy does not work for humans, and that after the lust and falling in love stages there forms an attachment between partners that leaves their brains more satisfied than any previous stage. So which is it? Are we supposed to be with one person forever, or are we meant to have various partners to quench sexual appetites?

The argument for polygamy lies with the two facts concerning our genetic similarities to polygamous apes and the men in our species being taller than women. We are most closely related to chimpanzees and bonobos, naturally promiscuous mammals. Men in these species want to “spread their seed”, something men in our species also desire, so they mate with as many females as they can to produce maximum offspring. If our DNA resembles these primates, are we living by the wrong sexual rules? Are we only monogamous because culture demands it, and we’re actually going against our true nature? The other supporting evidence for polygamy is attributed to the height and weight differences between men and women. In both primate and non-primate species, the more disparity there is in the sizes between the genders, the more promiscuous the species is. On average, men are 10 percent taller and 20 percent heavier than women, suggesting that while humans are not meant to mate as much as chimpanzees or bonobos, we are not meant to be solely monogamous.

Monogamy’s side comes from the pleasure hormones released in the brain when we form deep attachments to one partner and the evolutionary benefit for raising children. There are three stages to long-term mating: lust, falling in love, and attachment. The first stage lust is caused by a general increase in estrogen and testosterone levels. Falling in love releases specific neurotransmitters in the brain associated with pleasure, including pheromones, dopamine, norepinephrine, and serotonin. These hormones act similarly to amphetamines, giving us intense feelings of excitement. The last stage is attachment, releasing oxytocin and vasopressin in the brain, giving a constant satisfaction that the other pleasure inducing hormones don’t. It’s not possible for humans to be high on love all the time, so the body gives pleasure that can endure. The purpose of oxytocin and vasopressin is to keep families together, an evolutionary benefit to children in today’s society. In the beginning of time it was okay for males to have multiple mates because children were raised in tight knit communities, but with single families there needs to be two partners providing support for children to flourish.

There is no clear cut answer. Whether we are monogamous or polygamous lies in individual needs, as there are arguments to support both sides. The question becomes, do you want the crazy rush of passion associated with having many partners for life or do you want the quiet satisfaction of having one person to drive you crazy?

How to Improve your Relationship

Written by buzz. Posted in Love

Written by Lisa Pearson

With the advent of a new year rapidly approaching, many people are thinking about making resolutions for the new year. If you are single, maybe you have decided that you no longer want to casually date and want to be in a relationship. If you are in a relationship, perhaps you would like to make some changes to improve your relationship. Whatever the situation, the following tips can help you to make some improvements in your current status.

If you are single:

Girl on a bad date with guyLooking for love in the wrong places?

Relationship expert Marcia Brandwynne states that “Many single people spend a lot of time and energy searching for Mr. or Ms. Right … but don’t have a clue about the type of person they should really be looking for.” Passionately seeking someone without knowing who to look for makes the search for a partner that much more difficult. Surely you have some ideal traits and characteristics in mind; you just have to think about it.

Brandwynne suggests that the secret to finding a compatible partner is to meet someone who holds similar ideals and morals as yourself. The first step towards finding a mate is to think about and write down your own ideals and morals. Think about what is important to you, what interests you, and what kind of life you want. Get to know yourself better to get a better idea of what type of person would suit you best. After you do some soul searching and taking inventory of your life, you are ready to search for your ideal mate.

If you are in a relationship:

Do you find your relationship to be full of arguments and you feel the love is gone? Did you know that fighting the right way can actually help and improve your relationship? Brandwynne suggests that couples who complain and explain to turn ugly fights into constructive conversations. Expressing your problem with your partner and then explaining how it affects you will allow them to see things from your perspective. Yelling and attacking your partner gets you nowhere fast; the other person can shut down or it can turn into a long shouting match with nothing getting resolved.

Couple talking out an argument

Complain and explain

Brandwynne also recommends that you be aware of your body language while you’re having these conversations as well. If you are crossing your arms or rolling your eyes, your partner will likely get defensive and offended by these actions. Remember to complain and explain and improve your relationship.

 

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